Taking back my day….

Hi there. If anyone has read my recent post you know what this blog is about and this is going to hopefully help others as well. Its not something we can just shut off or make not happen (as some people would like to think). So over the next few days I am going to share with everyone what has really helped me over come this f***ked up thing called anxiety.

Being that i work in bar i see so many types of people. But the ones I couldnt relate to were the ones that were so confident with themselves could talk to anyone seem to not have a worry or concern in the world. Well definetly not the shit I had. ANXIETY!!! Ughhhh I just use to look at those people with so much envy. How can they do that? Whats wrong with me that I cant do that? I didnt want to be those people just wanted to be able to walk into a place not thinking when is my anxiety going to kick in why is everyone looking at me ( nobody was looking at me though) I just cant do this.. I cant tell you how many times I would just be pulling up to the grocery store and sit in the parking lot for 15 minutes before pulling away. I just couldnt get myself to go in there. Canceling plans over and over again just because I couldnt do it.

Finally about 5 months ago I was washing my face and I just happen to look up in the mirror and take a good look at myself and think your are 41 years old your son just left for bootcamp your dad passed away you are struggling with day to day stuff because of this something has to change. I really wanted to start living being present mentally with my everyday life and be happy and do things I would never dream of doing. I was going to take back my everyday DAY dammit if it was going to kill me.

So I decided to try something. What if I actually started to live a healthier life style really change things up a bit. Take care of myself better mentally. I googled and googled all kinds of shit. Nothing really sounded all that great to me. So I have had a few ideas and things I wanted to slowly try and just to see if that would help in anyway. I know this going to sound corny but I have always been interested in meditating. I made myself for weeks get up every morning with my husband and after he left I tried it. Just downloaded one on to my phone and made sure I did it for at least 15 minutes. It was amazing for me. Now my anxiety that I have had for over 20 years didnt just go away with doing that. But it helped my morning so much. Just forcing myself to concentrate on something else being more positive just for those 15 minutes was such a relief. Try it… shit looks so ridiculous when I use to see people doing it like what the hell are they doing sleeping?! Lol.. If u do try it let me know how it works for you I know its not for everyone. Please come back tomorrow I will have more ideas and stories about my insane anxiety days and hopefully this will reach people to help them or inspire them to know you are deserving to live your best life no matter what stands in the way.

Affirmation for the day… “when thinking about life remember this: no amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future”.

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