Its been awhile..

Good morning everyone. Geezzz its been so long since I have been on here. Between the holidays my son graduating from the marine corps its been pretty hectic around here .

Well my anxiety is back stronger than ever. Not really sure why. Felt like I had such a hold on it and boom outta no where it hit me like a ton of bricks. Thought i would start this year off in a way different way. Super proud of my son he is doing great in the marines. My job was going ok and my relationship was ok as well. Well that all has changed in the last few weeks. I quit my job outta no where my relationship is on the rocks feel like my life is falling apart and its not even February yet.

Well my job I think was kind of rocky anyways, been there for almost 12 years and I was so fed up with the bullshit. I know thats awful to say in a time like this but I just had my breaking point I lost my shit. I couldnt do it anymore it was literally draining my every second of the day even on my days off I couldnt even enjoy them all i could think about was dammit I gotta go back in there deal with the bullshit and be miserable. Which the more i think about it this has been brewing along time with me. You can only deal with so much until your like fuck it is it worth it at the end of the day.

On to my relationship. Yikes… we have been together for almost 9 years now its been great love him so very much but since my job thing he has been so different to me. Not supportive like I thought he was gonna be. If anything the total opposite. Which really shocks me. I have never not worked and never relied on him or anyone else to pay my way. Dont know if he is concerned about that or what it is. But its been rough around the house this to say the least.

So I guess I picked a hell of a time to go thru a so called mid life crisis. Any advice on going thru something like this?? I know this is off topic for my blog which will back on track tomorrow. Just wanna be happy in everything I do my job, relationships etc. I dont expect perfect of course just want to start living the best way I can and go to bed every night with complete satisfaction in every thing I did that day. For once in my life I feel like I can concentrate on myself and go figure I have no idea on how to do that.

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